I, Adrian Monk
by Monkish Otaku
Summary: Adrain Monk talks about his life as the Defective Detective. second in the I series. Slightly AN.


A/N: Here it is, my second story in the "I" series. Don't know why I didn't start with Monk first. Guess I wanted to have time to "think like Monk". I hope this one doesn't seem like random thoughts thrown together like the end of the last one. Anyway, R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Monk. Seriously, I don't.

I, Adrian Monk

Hello. I'm Adrian - Adrian Monk. People tell me I'm the greatest detective in the world. I don't know about the _world_. Maybe just San Francisco. I'm sure there are (or were) others that are smarter and much better than I. Than again, I've never heard of anyone. Dead or alive. Except Sherlock Holmes. But he was fictional and I can solve things faster than the British detective.

You don't want to know about my life, do you? Ok, but I must warn you, it's not for the faint of heart. My life is a very depressing one.

I guess I should start with my wife and why I'm the way I am.

For starters, I've always had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which was made more intense when my wife Trudy tragically died in a car bomb. She was my world. My everything. My sun and my moon. My earth, my sky. She was–Rambling? Me? Okay . . . so I am. But I love her. And she was so beautiful and perfect. I can still feel her presence. Its like-like I know a part of me has been abruptly and harshly amputated, but my brain doesn't know that yet. It just . . . doesn't register.

Well . . . nine years ago. So? I still love her with a passion that burns deep within my soul.

I-I've tried so many times to solve the case but . . .but I think I-I'm just to close to it. The-there was a, uh, break in New York. But that basically was a dead end.

After three years of holding myself up in my house, just cleaning myself to death, Captain Stottlemeyer brought a nurse over by the name of Shorona Fleming. At first, I tried to convince the Captain that I was fine and didn't need a nurse, but when that backed-fired I had to get used to her. It took a while, but I came to trust for many things. One of which was friendship. Shorona was my best friend, and her son Benjy was like a son. And the strange thing is, he thought _I_ was cool! It took him awhile, though. Now . . . she's gone. She remarried that jerk ex-husband of hers and moved back to New Jersey.

No, I don't have any kids of my own . . . Even though I loved Trudy, I-I just . . .I thought, given what my childhood was like, I-I thought that . . . I wouldn't make a good father. My theory was bogus I soon found out, when I took in a little boy named Tommy Graser. Ah, he was such a cute kid. He was. . .my son. I wish I could've made it permanent, but . . .(sigh) I-I can't even handle taking care of myself.

This is just so-so . . . unfair! Everyone I love just seems to leave me! My father, my mother, my wife, my best friend and now even . . . my son. Why is life treating me like this? What did I do that was so horrible?

So what if I'm yelling! I have the right to be angry about this! Wouldn't _you _be upset if everyone you ever cared about left you?

That's what I thought.

(Sigh) Sorry about that. I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did. If you want, you can still ask me questions. I promise I won't get upset.

Natalie? What about her? Well, she's okay . . . I guess. We're-we're working on it. I really do think she's starting to understand and trust me a bit. She used to think wherever I went, someone died which isn't true. At least, I don't think it is. Come to think of it, it _does_ seem like everywhere I go someone is "offed". Odd. And about the trust thing, she said I only cared about myself. I tried to tell her it wasn't true and that if she was in danger, I'd be there. I don't thing she believed me then. But after I saved her from being dumped out of the back of a dump-truck by unbuckling my seat belt and shooting the hydraulics hose, lowering the bed, she started to believe me.

What? Well how would I know if she's attractive or not?

I am _not_ blushing! And I certainly am _not_ lying through my teeth! I'll have you know I'm a _terrible_ liar. A two-year-old could lie better than I do. No really, it could happen. Could so. . . Could so . . .Cou- okay, now this is just plain childish.

So what if I'm a man? You know, you're starting to sound allot like Dr. Kroger, my psychiatrist. He told me the same thing last year. Right after that, he suggested I start dating. Dating! Can you believe it? And besides, what woman in her right mind would want to go out with me? (Sigh)

Huh? What would make you think Natalie would want to date me? Did she tell you anything?

She thinks I'm what? I didn't hear you.

"Mr. Monk, the Captain wants us - PRONTO!"

Well, looks like I have a job to do. I guess you can talk to me later if you really want to.

Good-bye.


End file.
